I have none of the things I thought I would have by now; a big solid fanbase, an upcoming tour, a boyfriend, a consistent income from my music, what I do have, however, is happiness. 

By not getting all the things I wanted or thought I needed, I got something even better; the opportunity to heal and find true joy. The opportunity to realize that what I was chasing was exactly what I was running from. I was craving validation and admiration when what I really needed was to be loved. Not loved for my talent or my beauty or my willingness to please others but for who I am underneath it all.

Throughout these past few years, I’ve sat with a lot of pain and grief. I’ve unlearned so much and created healthier habits and pathways. I’ve learned how to create a safe space in my own mind and body where I can feel without judgement. I’ve learned about who I am and I’ve learned to love who I am. I’ve learned that society is not built to support our happiness, our authenticity, our connection, and definitely not our nervous systems. I’ve learned that one of the best ways to help the world is to unlearn the conditioning that separates us from each other and fuels us with fear and to live consciously.

Sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to for a reason, and failure is a blessing. I wouldn’t even call it a failure if it allowed you to grow. I would still love to tour, build a strong community, and have a platform where I can give back on a large scale. I still desire healthy love and partnership. I am no longer attached to the idea that I need those things to complete me. I no longer want to derive happiness from those things but instead bring happiness to those things. I want to share the abundant amount of love and joy that I know I can cultivate inside myself. 

We know this as children, we turn playgrounds into wonderlands and rocks into friends and create joy from the inside out. Then it seems, they take it away from us and promise us we can get it back if we work hard enough, if we’re good looking enough, if we’re likable enough, and if we follow they’re rules. I hope you and I get all the things we want in life, I really do. But don’t wait for them to be happy, to open your heart and let love in, and to create what you want to create. Allow yourself to feel  the grief and the anger and the pain that’s getting in the way of your joy instead of constantly searching for things to make it go away. Life is happening right now, and every moment is so precious. Make the most of it.

Keep Shining your light!

-BG

Michelin star meals on private planes while children starve in an unsafe place. There are some things I don’t want to understand; a heart surrounded by brick walls, that forgot how to feel anything at all. A mind that gets off on making others feel small. I want to believe we are all good inside, when we wipe off the layers of conditioning and pride. There’s a light that’s waiting to be recognized, that needs to feel safe enough to shine. 

If I want to help save the world, I need to save the world from myself. From my anger and entitlement, from the wounds still left open, from the bad habits I cope with, and the intensity of my emotions. 

Living in survival mode, feeling like prey, being chased by a tiger but it’s just a missed text or a train delay. We can’t sleep in perfectly made beds, we constantly communicate but find it hard to connect. 

There’s happiness too; children laughing, dogs wagging their tails, an old couple enjoying a view. Most of us want to help, want to grow, and are willing to share. Carrying with us a weight of deep despair; for the family who falls asleep to the sound of gunshots, the woman who isn’t allowed to leave her abuser, the hardworking immigrant who got taken away, the animals who never get to see the light of day. Not knowing how to help, not wanting it to be this way. 

Maybe, what’s most important is to make sure we’re not the one pointing the gun. Walking around with invisible blood on our hands. We give our pain and anger a safe place to land, so we don't blame it on someone who’s merely a mirror. So we don’t run away from it or shatter it, and instead use it as an opportunity to see clearer. 

Let’s not fight against eachother but against the darkness that exists in all of us. The greed, the desire for power, the need for control, the vanity, and the shame. Let’s fight for love, for peace, for understanding. Let's recognize that we are one in the same. Different interpretations of identical material, let’s not forget that just being here is a miracle. If you want to save the world, save the world from your blindness. Always choose love, always choose kindness.

-BG

Last week I took a trip to Spain and visited an art museum in Madrid (Museo Nacional Del Prado). It was a gorgeous collection of art, culture, and history. A few things stood out to me while I was walking through the halls. First, how much religion has shaped society. The themes and stories in many of the paintings still play out today. The search for eternity in a mortal existence, the battle of good vs evil, the desire for the unattainable, and the poor told to pray for salvation as the rich benefit off their suffering. Something different and quite nice, however, was to see a beauty standard for woman that wasn't being as small as possible.

The most striking part of the experience was watching people experience the paintings. Staring in awe of people on a canvas, just being still. Reminded of the wonder it is to be human. Analyzing expressions on faces, immersing themselves in every inch of skin, discovering something new with each glance. Realizing so much is happening when nothing is happening. Isn't it ironic how we can admire the face and body of a complete stranger in a frame doing nothing yet we rarely allow ourselves to be still? 

We fail to see the magic of ourselves just being. Looking through the painters lens, we value the subject. We get permission to admire the human body and the human experience. But how rarely do we give ourselves permission to admire the person in the mirror, or the people around us in the same way. In an imperfect, raw, and unfiltered form. 

We are told so often either directly or indirectly that our worth is dependent on our output and our ability to perform. But watching the calm on people's faces as they witnessed moments captured of people dancing, embracing, holding a baby, sitting on a stool or laying in a field. I was reminded of the beauty of being present, of being still. If it's special enough to last thousands of years in a frame, then I don't want to wait until a moment is a memory to experience it's magic. 

You're a work of art, just being, don't forget that

Keep shining your light 

Today I want to talk about the importance of friendship, of being seen and loved for who you are. I truly believe we are here to learn, to grow, and to love eachother. It’s so easy to forget that with all our goals, responsibilities, and expectations.

 I don’t think life is meant to be so chaotic and overwhelming. We are constantly witnessing so much pain and suffering in the world that would be ignorant to ignore but it would be equally ignorant to be so consumed by the fear and sadness that we fail to appreciate the beauty of being alive, and fail to show up for the people we love. 

I didn’t truly understand the importance of community until I learned how to be vulnerable with others. Until I let myself be seen, be held, and be loved unconditionally. We all deserve that but it’s scary to let your guard down. Especially when you’ve opened up and been hurt in the past. But when we take off the masks and reveal our true selves to one another, it makes life feel so much more real and valuable. It’s equally meaningful to give, to hold space for someone else’s vulnerability, and to bring out their most beautiful parts.

I feel so extremely grateful for the people who have come into my life and taught me how to love better. From my best friends to strangers who took time out of their day to greet me. For a lot of my life, I felt very alone and scared to lean on others or reach out to people for help. I didn’t know who to trust or who was safe, and I’m still learning that. What I have realized, however, is the more you feel safe within yourself and trust yourself, the easier it is to feel that with others.

I hope that in a world asking so much of us, we can continue to put love first, kindness first, generosity first, and lean on eachother instead of looking for someone to blame for our pain.

We need eachother more than ever. We need more hugs, more I love you texts, more little acts of kindness, and more openness in our hearts. The last thing this world needs is more superficial interaction. Let’s hold space for one another, get real with one another, belly laugh with one another, and show up authentically. It’s food for the soul.

Keep shining your light

-BG

Lately it feels like my life’s falling apart while I’m coming together. I’m the most embodied, authentic, confident version of myself I’ve ever been, but I didn’t build my life as that person. I built a life as someone who didn’t think she deserved love, who settled, who let others make decisions for her, and who constantly put others needs before her own. I don’t fit into her world anymore yet I’m still so comfortable there. Part of me is desperately fighting to feel safe and comforted with old habits and patterns and part of me is begging me not to repeat them, to grow, and to love myself.

I’m scared of stepping into the unknown, but I’m way more scared of staying the same. I’m way more scared of not being in touch with myself. Things falling apart is an opportunity to start fresh, to step into a more aligned, resilient version of yourself. It doesn’t mean it won’t take a lot of tears and sad, lonely nights to get there. Yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel but you have to dig your way out and the digging can be relentless and exhausting. The most important thing is to keep moving, even if you move slowly, move scared, and don't know exactly where you're going yet. 

Sometimes things don’t make sense until later and you just have to follow your heart and trust the process. In the meantime, there’s my cup of coffee in the morning, cute dogs walking down the street, friends to give hugs to, and nature to find comfort in. Life is truly what you make of it.

Keep shining your light!

If you’ve been following me for awhile, you know I’m passionate about mental health but I don’t often talk about my personal experience with it. Partly because it feels too vulnerable and partly because I don’t want to put my problems on anyone else. We are all going through things and healing from something. These past few months, however, have been really tough for me. I’ve experienced the worst anxiety of my life and physical symptoms that have racked up way too much money in doctors bills.

I’ve been trying to just push through and carry on as normal, but there was something inside yelling at me to slow down, to pause, and to listen. I have the capacity to hold space for both my anxiety and grief and my joy and love for life and the people around me. I know I’m so privileged in so many ways and I have so much to be grateful for. I think that’s another reason why I don’t feel comfortable talking about my struggles- I feel guilty for having them. I want to focus on helping others and making the world a better place, and just put love out there. But if these past few years taught me anything, it is that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Self care is community care. I’m not talking about face masks and pedicures. I’m talking about getting to know yourself, setting healthy boundaries, forgiving yourself, going to therapy, asking for help and holding yourself with love. Not running away when things get hard. Not being afraid to look in the mirror because you have enough self compassion to see it all without shame or judgement. When I create art, I have the ability to alchemize my fear and sadness into something empowering, into something beautiful, and it’s the greatest gift, but it’s hard to create with a unregulated or overwhelmed nervous system, and that’s depressing because I place a lot of my value on my creative ability.

I’m learning that my worth is not something I have to earn and that the only thing I need to do to be valuable is breathe, is exist. We get fed so much bullshit, our attention is scattered, and we are living in quite a scary and uncertain time. There are so many things to distract us from feeling, that numb us, and I think that makes it harder to be in alignment, to check in internally, and to have capacity for our own trauma and fear and grief. I think it’s more important than ever to take care of ourselves. Protect our peace. Get out into nature. Set healthy boundaries around technology. Listen to our bodies. Surround ourselves with people who support us and love us unconditionally. 

The more abundance you feel within, the more love you have to share, and the more joy you have to give. You don’t need to do more or be more, you are enough. You can love yourself into growth. I think one of the greatest acts of rebellion right now is to choose love, is to choose joy, is to accept our humanity and our sensitivity and stop trying to be perfect and stop acting like we have to have it all together. 

Something I always remind myself when I’m going through something is that one day I might be able to help someone else going through the same thing or have a beautiful connection with someone who has shared a similar experience. You’re not alone. Please take care of yourself. Please ask for help if you need it; you are not a burden. By healing ourselves, we are healing the world little by little. Sending you so much love.

keep shining your light 

Lately, I’ve been realizing how important it is to show up when you don’t feel like it. To keep moving forward even when you’re not sure where you're going. It’s so easy to get stuck trying to figure things out in your head that can only be figured out by taking action. Taking action even when you don’t feel ready yet, even when it’s scary and uncomfortable to grow.

I was pretty down yesterday and I decided to go to a dance class. I thought it was a beginner class but everyone there was basically a profesional dancer. At first I was a bit nervous but then I realized that I was there for me, to have fun, and to move through the wave of grief I was experiencing that day. If anyone there judged me for the way I moved my body, that’s their problem and not mine. And you know what, I wasn’t so bad. But more importantly, I had fun. More importantly, I came out ten times happier than I was when I walked in.

It’s okay to not have everything figured out. Especially in a period of transition or uncertainty. We are always evolving and growing and trying on different versions of ourselves. I’ve personally been contemplating what I want to put my energy into, what direction I wanna go musically, and how I want to present that to the world. 

What I’ve realized is that, that gets figured out by doing, not just thinking. By getting curious and allowing myself to explore. By being willing to fail and miss the mark until it finally feels right. It doesn’t have to be so serious. It can be playful and fun to explore the different parts of ourselves.  We are humans, not robots. We have many different sides, emotions, and ideas, and that’s a beautiful thing.    

Remember it’s your life. You get to decide what feels good to you. Sometimes you have to go down the wrong path and make the wrong choice to figure out the right one. Maybe it wasn’t wrong at all, maybe it was a lesson you needed to learn. Don’t let that discourage you or make you afraid of trying again, of trusting yourself, of moving forward. Even if it's in baby steps. 

There’s so much love and beauty and success waiting for you to believe you're deserving of it :)

Keep shining your light!

This week was my birthday and also a very difficult week for me. It highlighted to me how two things can exist at the same time. Both fear and excitement, love and sadness, gratitude and longing. They don’t cancel each other out, we can make space for both to exist. 

So much of understanding life is being okay with the fact that there’s a lot we’ll never understand. Growth comes from making decisions that are terrifying and being able to sit in the discomfort of the fear of not knowing what is on the other side. From allowing ourselves the opportunity to step into new versions of ourselves while we are still grieving the current and old ones. 

Lately, that grief has been weighing heavy on my heart and causing me a lot of pain. It has also been met with so much love. Love from friends, from strangers, and love from myself (which is new and quite nice). Little signs and words of encouragement keep me going, give me hope that everything is going to be okay, maybe way more than okay. I am so immensely grateful for everybody in my life. For every listen to my new song, text “Happy Birthday,” warm embrace, student that comes to my yoga class, and even every bit of criticism that has forced me to reflect and become a better version of myself. 

Life is never going to be perfect. We can’t control what comes our way, the challenges we face, or the lessons we have to learn. We can, however, choose to learn from them, choose to meet them with love, and choose to live in gratitude for it all. And remember it’s a blessing to feel anything at all, it means your alive.

Keep shining your light,

BG

May is mental health month and I want you to know that you matter. You deserve to be here. If you didn’t have the love or care you needed in life, please know that you have the power to give it to yourself and that it’s okay to ask others to give it to you. You are not a burden, you are a beautiful human with unique gifts to offer this world. I don’t care what anyone else says, you were worthy of life the second it was given to you. You do not have to prove your right to be here. You belong here. With all of your fears and your spiraling thoughts. With all of your bad habits and imperfections. 

I am so glad that I got help. I started moving and meditating. I started going to therapy. I learned how to have healthy boundaries. I created a beautiful community. I let people in who love me. It did not get better overnight, but I kept showing up. I kept wanting to learn how to work with my brain and create a good life for myself. There is so much noise and BS out there, and it's only getting worse. It's never been more important to prioritize your peace and practice self-care. There is no shame in asking for help.

I sit here writing this in my moms house where I spent many days fighting to get out of bed, struggling to eat and feeling like I was gonna pass out after a short walk with my dog (if I was even capable of walking him), realizing how far I've come. It's a never-ending journey and I still have a long way to go, but for the first time, I wanna be present for all of it. I want you to be too.

Keep shining your light!

But maybe it doesn't need to be fixed right away, maybe it needs to be sat with, cared for, and tended to with love. Maybe it needs me to rest, to feel, and to reflect. Maybe it needs to teach me that my worth isn’t based on my productivity, to show me the power of slowing down.

I think a lot of us are too obsessed with fixing, with finding problems and solving them. It gives us a sense of control and peace of mind until something is out of our control and then we freak out. Because we realize it’s all an illusion, that most things are not in our hands. 

It's hard; the waiting, the sitting with yourself, what comes up in the silence isn't always pretty. But it’s in that space that you discover who you are and where you can grow. When you allow yourself to be, you become. And once you let go of what you can’t control, you realize what you can (and that’s so powerful).

When we stop trying to force things that aren’t meant to be, trying to fix things that were made to be broken, and start to trust that even pain has a lesson and a purpose, we start to live in alignment with our true selves. Deep wounds and pains start to surface so we can feel them and transform them into something beautiful. We heal and step into alignment. We start attracting instead of chasing.

SO just like my abdomen, know that you don’t need to be fixed, you need to be cared for, loved, and accepted as you are. Stop constantly finding new problems to solve. There are probably plenty you are avoiding. Create a safe place to feel, to care for yourself, take deep breaths, and embrace the beauty of slowing down when you can.

Keep shining your light!

I wanted to talk a bit about procrastination. Focus is something I have always struggled with. I have so many ideas and passions and things I want to do. I love starting new things, new songs, new activities, but finishing them is a different story. 

Why? Because I am afraid and I never think anything is good enough. My intrusive thoughts start to fire “What if I put my all into this and no one likes it?” “What if my art isn’t worth creating and putting out in the world?” “What if I make a giant fool of myself?” “Is there a better way I could be serving the world?” 

Eventually, I get tired of the nonsense in my brain and distract myself with an exciting new activity, a night out with friends, or a $10 latte; only to be left feeling unsatisfied. Only to be left wishing I was in the studio, finishing that song I told myself I was going to work on. I really want to break the cycle, and slowly but surely I am. 

I recently finished my first song off my next EP in my home studio. It’s the first song I fully produced myself. What I learned from that experience is that just the mere act of setting out to do something, giving it your all, and completing it, is the whole point. Keeping the promises you make to yourself builds confidence and knowing you don’t need to rely on anyone else to hold you accountable is really powerful.

In a world full of life hacks and quick fixes, it’s easy to forget that the journey is the prize. The hard work, the tears, and the late nights alone are never for nothing. It feels good to work towards something, to be in flow, and to overcome your fears and insecurities.  

SO PLEASE, remember your art is worth creating, your project is worth finishing. Do it scared, do it insecure, and surrender yourself to the process. Show up as you are and if you fall of course, give yourself grace and step on track again. Procrastination isn’t laziness, it’s avoidance. Feel the fear and do it anyway. The moment you're waiting for is right here and now.

I love you, keep shining your light,

-BG

“personal growth and capacity for change are directly proportional to an individual’s ability to accept uncomfortable truths about themselves without avoidance or denial.”

It’s been on my mind lately; the tendency to block out what I don’t like when I look in the mirror. And by mirror, I don’t mean just a piece of glass on the wall. Relationships are mirrors, experiences are mirrors, even our environment is a mirror. They all give insight to our strengths and weaknesses; to the way we feel about ourselves.

Self reflection isn’t always easy and has to come with a certain level of self-compassion. If not, we just get stuck feeling ashamed of ourselves and unable to forgive either ourselves or the people we blame for our problems (which is never productive). I think it’s important to remember that we are all imperfect and have parts of us that are hurting. It’s inevitable that we're going to mess up and hurt each other and ourselves.

These mistakes can become beautiful learning experiences if we are willing to take accountability and give ourselves permission to change. Forgiveness is an action. Forgiving yourself is a promise to grow into the kind of person who wouldn’t make the same mistake again. It’s putting the power back in your hands by realizing that no matter what the other person/people did, you are responsibility for your emotions and you create your reality.

It’s okay to mess up, say the wrong thing sometimes, let your emotions get the best of you. It’s part of being human. But how do you respond after that? How do you learn from it? How do you use it to cultivate more compassion, understanding, and love? That’s the important part and it starts with awareness. It starts with putting your pride aside and sitting in the uncomfortable feelings; the shame, the guilt, the anxiety, the loss, and NOT running away.

We owe that to ourselves and the people we love

keep shining your light

-BG

“What are we (and by we I mean humans) doing here?” I thought. Destroying the planet, creating chaos, fighting with each other over land we were never meant to take ownership of. I wondered how we got so out of touch. Who decided this wasn’t enough; that we need more to be happy? I was truly at peace standing there, just me, a bikini, beautiful friends, and my feet on the ocean floor. 

I don’t know why humans always desire more and long to defy all odds. I think it’s quite incredible. The technology we’ve created is extremely impressive and our species is incredibly smart. I also think we’ve lost the plot. I also think there is a way to create carefully and consciously and I think it’s very important that we don’t let our greed and ego and desire for power make us forget what we truly need in life; to be present, to be loved, to be connected to our planet, to serve something greater than ourselves. 

 Abundance is all around us, peace is available to us at all times, and society takes it away, packages it up, and sells it at a price too high. We chase pieces of the happiness that always belonged to us. We forget that we are whole, that we are beautiful, and that we are a part of something so much bigger than ourselves, that’s waiting there to hold us and shelter us and reflect our most sacred parts.

  After careful thought, I realized what I’m doing here is to be of service; to my friends, family, art, lover etc. I’m here to learn, to listen, to give and receive, and not to question whether it’s worth my time or whether I belong here. Just as the pelican doesn’t question why it’s catching fish and the sun doesn’t ask why it shines and the waves don’t ask why they crash. They just are as they are, they just do as they do, and they are absolutely beautiful, so maybe I am too (and so are you).

`

Keep Shining your light!

-BG

Well, we weren’t taught how to recognize it, how to hold it, how to nurture it. Love is sold as this fairytale that some people are lucky enough to experience but love is an action. It’s choosing to pause and be present. It’s being vulnerable enough to speak your truth. It's allowing yourself to be seen and valued for you are. It’s not letting your ego get in the way of your heart. We do so many things to be loved; change our hair, our faces, our bodies, kill our passion to make a lot of money, but love happens when we realize we don’t need to be changed or fixed. We actually need to be accepted exactly as we are. 

One of my favorite things to do is go to the beach and people watch. I look around and see so much love; the dogs following their people, sisters and brothers playing in the sand, couples holding hands walking along the water, the silent exchange of the sun and the moon. I feel so much love for the earth, for humans, for the ability to be alive. I am reminded that all the beauty I’m witnessing is also inside myself. Then I get sad, thinking about the impermanence of life, knowing that the day will come when I watch my last sunset and I'm not be able to put my feet in the sand or hold hands with someone I love. 

Love is all around us, we just have to be willing to let it in, knowing it will be painful at times . What moves us and makes life meaningful, also brings us to tears and shakes us to our core. It’s tempting to want to close off and feel less and less safe feeling love. We limit who we give and receive love from and decide it’s scarce and we'd rather be lonely than experience loss. But if we truly keep our hearts open, if we are willing to let them break, we realize love is always there, hiding in plain sight, waiting for us to welcome it in.

Keep Shining your light!

-BG

Today I finished a 40 day Sadhana, which is a morning meditation practice. This particular one was 20 minutes, every morning, and my intention was to gain more confidence, self-worth, and build the strength to finish my next project and put it out. Here is what I learned.

True confidence comes from realizing that the validation you are seeking is inside yourself. You do not need anyone else to tell you that your art is worth putting into this world, that your body is beautiful as it is, that you’re smart, funny, intelligent, kind, and worthy of love. You have to believe it yourself. That is not to say that other people’s compliments can’t be reaffirming or we can't learn from constructive criticism, but it is dangerous to let how other people value you, change how you value yourself.

Confidence also comes from action. It’s not something you gain by sitting still and desiring it. Confidence is acting in a way that aligns with the person you want to be. Not society’s idea of who should be, not your parents idea of who you should be, but who you know deep down you are and doing what you came on this Earth to do. Whatever you’re ruminating about or putting to the side because you’re scared, get up and do it. The outcome doesn’t matter nearly as much as just completing what you set out to.

Perfectionism is a myth. We are sold confidence as beauty, wealth, success, and fame, but it’s so much more simple than that. Confidence is a silent acceptance of who you are. A promise not to abandon yourself when things get hard. It’s not desiring to be somebody else. It’s making peace with the body, mind, brain, and gifts you’ve been given and having the determination to share them with others without fear. 

You earned your right to be here the second you came out of the womb, now go show everyone how amazing you are. 

Keep shining your light,

BG